Ash Wednesday on St. Valentine’s Day
By Fr Henry Opara
In an informal gathering with a group of young people, one of them said, ‘Fada, this year’s feast of St. Valentine’s Day get as e bi’. I just acted as if I did not hear or understand him very well. So I replied that I did not understand what he was talking about. He then said, ‘Ash Wednesday has every other day in the whole 365 days of 2024 to fall on but chose February 14th of all days. Fada, this is not good naa. It wouldn’t allow us to enjoy the Valentine’s Day’.
That discussion led to this reflection. Is there a conflict between the celebration of Ash Wednesday and St. Valentine’s Day? Are they mere distraction to each other? What does Ash Wednesday have to do with St. Valentine’s Day? What this great Saint, St. Valentine stands for, has it any connection with the Ash Wednesday? Where lies the fear of the young man? Is it a matter of poor understanding of what Ash Wednesday stands for in relation to St Valentine’s Day? Let us not forget that this alleged fear is not only experienced by the young man alone. A little digression into the social media space will leave you with such expressions like: ‘’those of una wey dey tell me to take am easy, for this 2024, even Ash Wednesday no gree for Valentine (purple over red). “Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day na the same day! Even Jesus no gree for satan this 2024” etc.
What did the young person have in mind when he was harbouring some fears about the coincidence of the date for the two events? At this point, I want to be using the loose expression, Lover’s Day to replace St. Valentine’s Day. For the young person and all in his category, what we celebrate that day is love, involving dining and wining and all sorts of merriment. Sometimes, it involves some of them using that day for indecent or immoral behaviours, all in the name of love. Frankly speaking, Ash Wednesday begins a period of contemplation on the supreme and the perfect expression of love by God through our Lord Jesus Christ and our response to this love. No doubt, the shortfalls call for conversion ( metanoia) and change of heart through every forms of penance towards reconciliation with both God and our fellow man. Recall that in St. John’s gospel, it is written “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.’’ (Jn. 15: 13). Saint Valentine on his own part fascinated the ideal of holiness for young people by offering the normal path of betrothal and marriage according to the rules of the Catholic Church, an act which got him martyred because marriage was forbidden then to allow young men to go for war. His death can be considered as a consequence of defense of conjugal love.
Every love has its origin and perfection in God. “God is Love, and he who abides in love abides in God and God in him”. Every true love has divine and human dimensions. It is in God whose attribute is love that we can understand what love is all about. Pope Benedict XVI in his Encyclical letter, God is Love No. 2 maintained that “God’s love is fundamental for our lives, and it raises important questions about who God is and who we are. In considering this, we immediately find ourselves hampered by a problem of language. Today, the term ’’love’’ has become one of the most frequently used and misused of words, a word to which we attach quite different meanings” Pope John Paul II (Carol Wojtyla) in his book “Love and Responsibility” emphasized that ‘’in any case, it is clear to see that love is by its very nature not unilateral but bilateral, something ‘between’ two persons, something shared. Fully realized, it is essentially an interpersonal, not an individual matter. It is a force which joins and unites, of its very nature inimical to division and isolation’’.
From the message of the two Popes at different documents, one can see that love is a beautiful experience whether it is about God and our fellow human beings. The question at this point then is, ‘what kind of love are the young person and his Likes talking about having on the Lover’s Day and the Ash Wednesday?’ The reflection will lead us to look into two key words, Eros and Agape. While Eros means the type of love that involves passion, lust and romance (sexual love or desires) Agape love connotes the ‘’highest form of love, charity and the love of God for man and of man for God” . The Church is not against sex, romance and passion but the wrong use of them. What is worth doing is worth doing well and to its logical conclusion (procreation in Marriage). Pope Benedict XVI in the document quoted earlier No. 3 added ‘’the tendency to avoid the word eros, together with the new version of love expressed through the word agape, clearly points to something new and distinct about the Christian understanding of love. In a critique of Christianity which began with the enlightenment and grew progressively more radical, this new element was seen as something thoroughly negative’’
For the young person with the mindset of eros, the date of Ash Wednesday coming up on the same day as Lover’s day is not acceptable. If it is within their power, the can change it or if possible opt for other options. For them, it is a day to celebrate sexual love and desires, engage in clubbing, excess alcohol intake and other forms of unbridled acts that put them in danger in different areas of their lives and future. These acts are contrary to the commands of God and what St. Valentine represents. Thus Fr. Theophile Akoha in his book, Youths and The Traps of Love, remarks, ‘’there are many who refuse to worship God today, because his law or his commandment of love constitute a heavy weight to bear. So, they put God aside to do their own will, forgetting that man cannot find his greatness than in God. The creature without the Creator faints. This is the wisdom we must acquire”. In the same vein, the Author makes it clear to anyone who wants to listen and learn that ‘’this truth of love is discovered and learnt every day. We do not need to wait for Valentine’s Day to express it but if we presume the necessity of a solemn day to intensify it, it must be vibrating with meaningful accents and not a moral decay. In other words, if we maintain notwithstanding St. Valentine, there is the necessity that it should be revisited, corrected and dignified in the sense of purity and the truth of love’’
In conclusion, man is a composite of body and soul. He is not made of body alone neither of soul. The desires of the duo must be tended. He, who made them made them in his image and likeness. God has a purpose for his creation. When they are used per the inherent mission and essence, the fullness of the dignity of man is attained. Let us eschew in our relationship gestures all vices contrary to the Love of God that should guide all things. God first loved us and demands nothing devoid of love from us. Do not forget his words “if you love me, you must keep my commandments.’’ If there are ways, we have fallen short of reciprocating this love; let us ask him for pardon and mercy during this holy season. The Choice is yours. May the grace of God in all its fullness sustain us throughout this season of Lent, through Christ our Lord, Amen.
Fr Henry Opara
Parish Priest
St Anthony’s Catholic Church Ohekelem
Owerri Archdiocese
